at the end of All Yesterdays (the extremely good book about imagining and illustrating dinosaurs in complex speculative ways i was talking about yesterday) there’s a section where they prove the point about the fact that we need to be more open to imagining skin coverings and fat/cartilage deposits by illustrating modern-day animals as if a nonhuman paleontologist from millions of years in the future reconstructed them using the just-skin-stretched-over-the-skeleton-and-muscles method that unimaginative paleoartists use with dinosaurs
with results like:
and i love it so much because it absolutely unquestionably proves the point the book is making
1. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs is not one of them.
2. Never cancel dinner plans by text message.
3. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.
4. If a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck.
5. Always use ‘we’ when referring to your home team or your government.
6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.
7. Don’t underestimate free throws in a game of ‘horse’.
8. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
9. Don’t dumb it down.
10. You only get one chance to notice a new haircut.
11. If you’re staying more than one night, unpack.
12. Never park in front of a bar.
13. Expect the seat in front of you to recline. Prepare accordingly.
14. Keep a picture of your first fish, first car, and first boy/girlfriend.
15. Hold your heroes to a high standard.
16. A suntan is earned, not bought.
17. Never lie to your doctor.
18. All guns are loaded.
19. Don’t mention sunburns. Believe me, they know.
20. The best way to show thanks is to wear it. Even if it’s only once.
21. Take a vacation of your cell phone, internet, and TV once a year.
22. Don’t fill up on bread, no matter how good.
23. A handshake beats an autograph.
24. Don’t linger in the doorway. In or out.
25. If you choose to go in drag, don’t sell yourself short.
26. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.
27. Never get your hair cut the day of a special event.
28. Be mindful of what comes between you and the Earth. Always buy good shoes, tires, and sheets.
29. Never eat lunch at your desk if you can avoid it.
30. When you’re with new friends, don’t just talk about old friends.
31. Eat lunch with the new kids.
32. When traveling, keep your wits about you.
33. It’s never too late for an apology.
34. Don’t pose with booze.
35. If you have the right of way, take it.
36. You don’t get to choose your own nickname.
37. When you marry someone, remember you marry their entire family.
38. Never push someone off a dock.
39. Under no circumstances should you ask a woman if she’s pregnant.
40. It’s not enough to be proud of your ancestry; live up to it.
41. Don’t make a scene.
42. When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet is best.
43. Know when to ignore the camera.
44. Never gloat.
45. Invest in good luggage.
46. Make time for your mom on your birthday. It’s her special day, too.
47. When opening presents, no one likes a good guesser.
48. Sympathy is a crutch, never fake a limp.
49. Give credit. Take blame.
50. Suck it up every now and again.
51. Never be the last one in the pool.
52. Don’t stare.
53. Address everyone that carries a firearm professionally.
54. Stand up to bullies. You’ll only have to do it once.
55. If you’ve made your point, stop talking.
56. Admit it when you’re wrong.
57. If you offer to help don’t quit until the job is done.
58. Look people in the eye when you thank them.
59. Thank the bus driver.
60. Never answer the phone at the dinner table.
61. Forgive yourself for your mistakes.
62. Know at least one good joke.
63. Don’t boo. Even the ref is somebody’s son.
64. Know how to cook one good meal.
65. Learn to drive a stick shift.
66. Be cool to younger kids. Reputations are built over a lifetime.
67. It’s okay to go to the movies by yourself.
68. Dance with your mother/father.
69. Don’t lose your cool. Especially at work.
70. Always thank the host.
71. If you don’t understand, ask before it’s too late.
72. Know the size of your boy/girlfriend’s clothes.
73. There is nothing wrong with a plain t-shirt.
74. Be a good listener. Don’t just wait for your turn to talk.
75. Keep your word.
76. In college, always sit in the front. You’ll stand out immediately.
77. Carry your mother’s bags. She carried you for nine months.
78. Be patient with airport security. They’re just doing their jobs.
79. Don’t be the talker in a movie.
80. The opposite sex likes people who shower.
81. You are what you do, not what you say.
82. Learn to change a tire.
83. Be kind. Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them.
84. An hour with grandparents is time well spent. Ask for advice when you need it.
85. Don’t litter.
86. If you have a sister, get to know her boyfriend. Your opinion is important.
87. You won’t always be the strongest or the fastest. But you can be the toughest.
88. Never call someone before 9am or after 9pm.
89. Buy the orange properties in Monopoly.
90. Make the little things count.
91. Always wear a bra at work.
92. There is a fine line between looking sultry and slutty. Find it.
93. You’re never too old to need your mom.
94. Ladies, if you make the decision to wear heels on the first date, commit to keeping them on and keeping your trap shut about how much your feet kill.
95. Know the words to your national anthem.
96. Your dance moves might not be the best, but I promise making a fool of yourself is more fun than sitting on the bench alone.
97. Smile at strangers.
98. Make goals.
99. Being old is not dictated by your bedtime.
100. If you have to fight, punch first and punch hard.
Je découvre Adult Wednesday Addams beaucoup trop tard mais c’est pas grave, parce que peut-être que vous ne connaissez pas non plus alors hop, c’est cadeau, le premier épisode.
Pour le reste, c’est par là.
Il n’y a que six épisodes, et c’est bien dommage, parce que je serais prête à payer pour dix-huit saisons.
I believe this spell is called “Fuck You I Am a Goddamn Witch and Don’t Have to Tolerate This Bullshit”.
Let’s see how well this plays out for the offenders.
oooooooh what’s it do?
I wanna know, too. It’s cool as fuck.
lol, may as well. I’m having some issues stemming from an old friend and their newest romance. So, I’m intervening. The candles stand for the both of them. Each stone is an issue that’s come between them that they’ve ignored. As my curse burns through each of them, each issue will be brought to the surface and drop to begin building a barrier between them. By the time it’s finished, I don’t expect them to be speaking any more.
*drools intensely at the magick*
My Mom, after having made the courageous decision to leave my incredibly controlling and abusive stepfather of 18 years, is saying she wants to get back together with him. If you don’t mind, I’ll be using this incredibly beautiful spell of yours.
I am flattered you like this spell enough to use it! And I hope I’m not incredibly late to let you know however that this (as I performed it) is NOT a guaranteed break up spell. If the targets are able to work through their issues as they bubble to the surface and truly care about each other, this spell would theoretically only make their relationship stronger. But that of course is why I love it, it was designed to be a relationship version of The Tower. :)
(Source: , via jackalwedding)
What angels are apparently supposed to look like according to
They had 6 wings, covered with eyes on the wings. And had two eyes on their face, but used 2 wings to cover their face at all times because if a mortal ever saw their face they would die.
The bible mentions multiple faces, being covered in eyeballs, constant singing, lion heads etc.
Besides being described as beasts and monsters, they’re practically brainless drones. Heavenly angels are only one step removed from demons. The only difference is demons fell from heaven because they chose to follow Lucifer, who was an angel (angel of music and one of god’s favorites). So they are these eyeball covered animal mashed up monsters who were only created to worship for eternity (part of humanities creation was so that something would choose to love god, not just worship him because they were created to).
Angels fall into a lot of new age and conspiracy beliefs.We were taught that the supernatural realms went in the order of Heaven, Hell, then Earth. So when the angels fell from heaven with Lucifer, some fell through hell and landed on Earth. We were taught they intermarried with early humans and created giants and taught witch craft to women.
Technically, angels have made their only moral choice, and so experience morality only in theory.
Some angel characters are based on the non-humanoid or vaguely humanoid “canon” angels, which can be anything from a ball of wings covered in eyes to a huge, living wheel to animals on fire.
They’re abominations, they’re alien, they’re beyond us. They’re creatures that biology as we know it does not apply to. Often they do not love mankind, they love God and God alone.
Maybe angels taking on human form but describing just what they look like when they’re not wearing their skin.
Angels are such creepy and interesting.
The study of angelology is EVEN MORE interesting with a literal and scientific approach to understand what ancients have said regarding angelic deities. It’s a beautiful study
There is a damned good reason why the first thing out of an angel’s mouth whenever it appears to a mortal person in the Bible is “DO NOT FEAR”, and it’s because angels are fucking terrifying.
Different orders looked different. Seraphim, in Judaic canon, were second to God Himself, had six wings covered in eyes, and four wings covered their bodies which were so alien and glorious, they would set a mortal soul ablaze should one gaze upon it. Others, like Cherubim, were concentric circles covered in eyes and connected at the wing-tips. There are Thrones, Principalities and Dominions, too. Angels and Archangels are actually the lowest orders, however Christian canon has the Archangels as top dogs.
A fuckload of classic literature:
- 1984 by George Orwell
- A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
- A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man by James Joyce
- A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens
- Aesop’s Fables by Aesop
- Agnes Grey by Anne Brontë
- Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Caroll
- Andersen’s Fairy Tales by Hans Christian Andersen
- Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery
- Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
- Around the World in 80 Days by Jules Verne
- Beyond Good and Evil by Friedrich Nietzsche
- Bleak House by Charles Dickens
- Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky
- David Copperfield by Charles Dickens
- Down and Out in Paris and London by George Orwell
- Dracula by Bram Stoker
- Dubliners by James Joyce
- Emma by Jane Austen
- Erewhon by Samuel Butler
- For the Term of His Natural Life by Marcus Clarke
- Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
- Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
- Grimms Fairy Tales by the brothers Grimm
- Gulliver’s Travels by Jonathan Swift
- Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad
- Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
- Kidnapped by Robert Louis Stevenson
- Lady Chatterly’s Lover by D. H. Lawrence
- Les Miserables by Victor Hugo
- Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
- Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
- Middlemarch by George Eliot
- Moby Dick by Herman Melville
- Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen
- Nostromo: A Tale of the Seaboard by Joseph Conrad
- Notes from the Underground by Fyodor Dostoevsky
- Of Human Bondage by W. Somerset Maugham
- Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens
- Paradise Lost by John Milton
- Persuasion by Jane Austen
- Pollyanna by Eleanor H. Porter
- Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
- Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe
- Sense and Sensibility, by Jane Austen
- Sons and Lovers by D. H. Lawrence
- Swanns Way by Marcel Proust
- Tarzan of the Apes by Edgar Rice Burroughs
- Tender is the Night by F. Scott Fitzgerald
- Tess of the d’Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy
- The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
- The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
- The Brothers Karamazov, by Fyodor Dostoevsky
- The Great Gatsby
- The Hound of the Baskervilles by Arthur Conan Doyle
- The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoevsky
- The Iliad by Homer
- The Island of Doctor Moreau by H. G. Wells
- The Jungle Book by Rudyard Kipling
- The Last of the Mohicans by James Fenimore Cooper
- The Legend of Sleepy Hollow by Washington Irving
- The Odyssey by Homer
- The Merry Adventures of Robin Hood by Howard Pyle
- The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka
- The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
- The Portrait of a Lady by Henry James
- The Prince by Nicolo Machiavelli
- The Scarlet Pimpernel by Baroness Orczy
- The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson
- The Tales of Mother Goose by Charles Perrault
- The Thirty Nine Steps by John Buchan
- The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Duma
- The Time Machine by H. G. Wells
- The Trial by Franz Kafka
- The War of the Worlds by H. G. Wells
- Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson
- Ulysses by James Joyce
- Utopia by Sir Thomas More
- Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackeray
- Within A Budding Grove by Marcel Proust
- Women In Love by D. H. Lawrence
- Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë
Click on the motherfucking Hypelinks bitches.
Here! Have a fuckload of modern literature, too!
- A Clockwork Orange - Anthony Burgess
- A Study In Scarlet - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
- Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter - Seth Grahame-Smith
- An Abundance of Katherines - John Green
- Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer
- Bossypants - Tina Fey
- Breakfast At Tiffany’s - Truman Capote
- Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
- Catcher In The Rye - J.D. Salinger
- Charlie And The Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
- City of Bones - Cassandra Clare
- Clockwork Angel - Cassandra Clare
- Damned - Chuck Palahniuk
- Darkly Dreaming Dexter - Jeff Lindsay
- Dead Until Dark - Charlaine Harris
- Ender’s Game - Orson Scott Card
- Everything Is Illuminated - Jonathan Safran Foer
- Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close - Jonathan Safran Foer
- Fahrenheit 451 - Ray Bradbury
- Fight Club - Chuck Palahniuk
- Go The Fuck To Sleep - Adam Mansbach
- I Am America (And So Can You!) - Stephen Colbert
- I Am Number Four - Pittacus Lore
- Inkheart - Cornelia Funke
- It - Stephen King
- Life of Pi - Yann Martel
- Lolita - Vladmir Nabokov
- Marked - Kristin Cast
- Memoirs Of A Geisha - Arthur Golden
- My Sister’s Keeper - Jodi Picoult
- Never Let Me Go - Kazuo Ishiguro
- One Day - David Nicholls
- Paper Towns - John Green
- Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightening Thief - Rick Riordan
- Pretty Little Liars - Sara Shepard
- Slaughterhouse Five - Kurt Vonnegut
- Snow White And The Huntsman - Lily Blake
- The Book Thief - Markus Zusak
- The Bourne Identity - Robert Ludlum
- The Giver - Lois Lowry
- The Hunger Games - Suzanne Collins
- The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
- The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
- The Notebook - Nicholas Sparks
- The Outsiders - S.E. Hinton
- The Perks of Being A Wallflower - Stephen Chbosky
- The Princess Diaries - Meg Cabot
- The Things They Carried - Tim O’Brien
- The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
- The Ultimate Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy - Douglas Adams
- Tuesdays With Morrie - Mitch Albom
- Uglies - Scott Westerfeld
- Vampire Diaries: The Awakening - L.J. Smith
- Water For Elephants - Sara Gruen
- Wicked - Gregory Maguire
Living in the future can be pretty sweet sometimes
Oh my god! There’s more!